Cosmic Comic Continuum

George Carlin at Retro Comic Spotlight

The Square Root of Infinity

...concluding this little story...

The little bubble-headed alien told me what his name was but I couldn't pronounce it. He told me that was because I had a tongue which was, in his estimations, the biggest barrier to speaking the language of outer space, in addition to speaking the truth. I let his snide remark slide as we began our descent.

"Where is this place?" he asked in utter amazement as we both stared out the front porthole of his little starship. "This isn't the same Earth that we used to visit and monkey around with ."

"Well," I said, not surprised by the sudden time shift and unpredictable turn of events, including this bubble-head's spontaneous confession, "it used to be."

And then we exited the roving wormhole and landed.

Through the Looking Glass

I was burning the midnight oil the other night, still trying to whip my latest 8½ x 11 manuscript into a 6 x 9 paperback for POD publishing sometime this month. I was dog tired but kept thinking about how a nice double-shot of think-a-hol would really help me sleep. So, I moseyed into my bedroom to throw on some street clothes and accidentally walked right through the full-length mirror on the closet door. This is what greeted me on the other side.

Before I found myself talking to a big white rabbit sitting behind the wheel of an interplanetary starship and late for a very important date, I high-tailed it back through the mirror.

Then, instead of traipsing off to Think-A-Holic Lounge for last call, I drank a glass of milk like a good boy and went to bed.