Packie

There was a break-in at Think-A-Holic Lounge last Saturday night after closing. Angus McCloud, the Lounge's bigass head bartender, was madder than a hornet because his refusal to keep the security bots on duty round the clock had backfired on him.

Being the ghost of a true penny-pinching Scot, Angus had figured that if he saved the management a little money on security patrols they'd be grateful and give him a big raise. He figured wrong. In fact, they docked his pay for the two cases of brew and the three bottles of think-a-hol the burglars had made off with after they found the cash registers empty and the safe nowhere to be found.

Undaunted by his big slip-up, Angus hired a new security guard (see pic) and claims that he's paying for her out of his own pocket. The new perimeter patrol is not a bot at all but a living female creature from a nearby planet ruled by elephants and hippos, a Nazi-like world where they put all loose humans in zoos. This particular pachyderm goes by the name "Packie".

We hear she works for peanuts.