There are two other alternate personalities of real human beings who have become regulars at Think-A-Holic Lounge this past year (see pic) and they both hail from planet Earth, just as yours truly does.These two women are both divorcées from the United States, one from California and the other from Georgia. Both are "babes" but we regular Lounge Lizards are very, very careful not to point that out to them. Feminism is alive and well, even at the edge of the space-time continuum.
The "babe" on the left calls herself Flotsam and the other one is known as Jetsam. Even though everyone at the Lounge knows that these two "babes" are not gay females (and it wouldn't matter to the hound dogs here whether or not Flotsam and Jetsam were dating one another), they are both treated with respect here because our big-ass head bartender, Angus McCloud, would have no problem knocking heads and kicking ass just to make sure that particular Lounge policy was known by all. Angus is just about the biggest lover and protector of female creatures in this galaxy and that makes him a kind of hero of mine because I'm too stupid, cowardly and clumsy to know how to do that myself.
Anyway, I once asked Flotsam and Jetsam why they call themselves what they do and this is what they told me.
"Well, Jonco," said Flotsam, "I call myself Flotsam because my life turned out pretty much like a shipwreck."
"I see," I replied carefully, not wanting to excite or arouse or antagonize any feelings in this beautiful but formidable creature that would go against me. "And what about you, Jetsam?"
"Oh, hell, Jonco," she responded, "my marriage was a sinking ship and my old man threw me overboard for a bimbo half my age. The name fit me, so I kept it."
I didn't need to ask Flotsam and Jetsam about their gas masks. Being a Think-A-Holic Lounge regular, I knew the answer to that particular mystery. Angus, in his infinite hospitality and stupidity, was offering a free buffet that night, in order to help curb drunk driving. The menu consisted of a three-bean salad, fifteen-bean-and-ham soup and bean dip with chips.
And Flotsam and Jetsam had simply come prepared.
