The Barstool Journal of Jonco Bugos

Sunday, April 06, 2008

The Watch Blob

Angus McCloud, the big-ass ghost bartender at Think-A-Holic Lounge (see left pic), recently hired this creature (see right pic) from another solar system to guard the top of the bar. Angus told everyone that this new employee was hired for their own safety, to keep watch over the money they lay on the bar while they imbibe think-a-hol and bubbly chasers and what have you. But I know better. Angus hired this little green bar-top blob to guard his tips and nothing else. But he’d never admit that.

This latest edition to the Think-A-Holic Lounge staff answers to the name Oozee (pronounced ooo-zee). I snapped this photo of Oozee with my cell phone camera as he stared me down, thinking I was the tip thief instead of the Lounge’s biggest tipper. Then the little phlegm-wad took two solar dollars from my money pile. He said it was a fee for the privilege of taking his picture. I just sat there, nursing my think-a-hol and saying nothing while he continued to single me out as the number-one reason for his employment.

Even at the edge of the space-time continuum life is often unfair.