The Author from Another World

Life outside the space-time continuum is actually not all that different from life experienced within its more predictable confines, like planets and solar systems. In regular space, the biggest unwritten rule of thumb is that shit happens and the second biggest unwritten rule of thumb is that when shit happens it happens when you least expect it.

So, just imagine what life is like beyond the space-time continuum, where there are places with no position in space, no coordinates for the eternal forces to pinpoint for karmic retribution, no location on a map for the mortal and immortal powers-that-be to close in on and crush opposition like a bug. Places like Think-A-Holic Lounge, where just about anything goes, except the presence of real flesh-and-blood patrons who need sustainable gravity and controlled heat to stay alive.

But leave it to cosmic nature to invent and unleash upon the unconfined realms of the universe creatures who transcend all the laws of mortal, flesh-and-blood nature. This is an example of what happens when mortal nature and cosmic nature play soccer with a mortal, independent author from planet Earth. Instead of getting rid of a thing, they create, and even empower, another thing. And last night at precisely midnight, Earth Time EST, this thing (see pic) darkened the forbidden doorway of Think-A-Holic Lounge for the very first time.

It's a nightmare come true for all of us at Think-A-Holic Lounge and it looks like we won't be able to hold back The Author from Another World any longer.

Packie

There was a break-in at Think-A-Holic Lounge last Saturday night after closing. Angus McCloud, the Lounge's bigass head bartender, was madder than a hornet because his refusal to keep the security bots on duty round the clock had backfired on him.

Being the ghost of a true penny-pinching Scot, Angus had figured that if he saved the management a little money on security patrols they'd be grateful and give him a big raise. He figured wrong. In fact, they docked his pay for the two cases of brew and the three bottles of think-a-hol the burglars had made off with after they found the cash registers empty and the safe nowhere to be found.

Undaunted by his big slip-up, Angus hired a new security guard (see pic) and claims that he's paying for her out of his own pocket. The new perimeter patrol is not a bot at all but a living female creature from a nearby planet ruled by elephants and hippos, a Nazi-like world where they put all loose humans in zoos. This particular pachyderm goes by the name "Packie".

We hear she works for peanuts.