Not An Exit

One patron at Think-A-Holic Lounge was recently banned for life by Angus McCloud, the big-ass head bartender. This guy is a human male from the planet Alpha Male One, where all humans are "energy creatures" and where all men over thirty are called "Leader". His real name is unpronounceable and we at the Lounge call him Not An Exit behind his back because he, like all men from Alpha Male One, can walk through walls at will and this guy has never used a door at the Lounge to my knowledge.

Not An Exit was banned for running up a big bar tab and then sneaking out when the bartender's back was turned. Here is a picture I snapped of him with my tried-and-true, handy-dandy cell phone camera as he was skedaddling through the men's room wall. I didn't manage to get the piece of toilet paper attached to his left boot.

How Angus actually plans to keep Not An Exit out of Think-A-Holic Lounge is still a mystery to us all.

The Pixel Pixie

A couple days ago at the Lounge I saw one of the barmaids, who is a quadraped from the planet Pluto, point out an elusive patron from another solar system to Angus, our big-ass head bartender.

She seemed kind of ticked off that this sometimes invisible creature even exists, let alone gains entrance to our little cyber inner sanctum of intergalactic publishing outcasts. I called Angus over for a bit of chin wagging during which I asked him who this mysterious creature was that had the barmaid all upset.

"Why, it's that little cyberland picture-thief prick," Angus snorted under his breath.

"You mean an intergalactic art thief of some sort?" I asked him.

"Nononononono," Angus replied, wagging his head like an old dog trying to dislodge fleas from his ears. "I mean this little bastard steals images from blog posts and then puts them back whenever he wants to. Just for the hell of it. Imagine."

Imagine, indeed, I thought to myself. The little so-and-so ought to be hung out to dry. That's when I pulled out my trusty cell phone camera and snapped the pixel thief's image. But the little bastard stole the picture before I could post it.