The Barstool Journal of Jonco Bugos

Saturday, November 01, 2008

The Missing Link

Being someone's alter ego as well as their reflection isn't always a walk in the park. I think it would be a lot easier just being the real person, himself, but the bodies of real, actual persons are already occupied and take up a lot of physical space in the universe. Unlike yours truly. Being Jonco Bugos is much more than simply being the polar opposite of Michael Casher. I blog, therefore I am. I am a living being in my own right. And he knows that. But he'll never admit it.

That's why I spend so much time hanging out at Think-A-Holic Lounge. Michael Casher would never enter an establishment like this and the main reason for that is because Think-A-Holic Lounge occupies no space in the physical universe like he does. The Lounge has no position in the space-time continuum like an ordinary tavern. In other words, Michael Casher wouldn't be able to get a foot in the door here because he's simply too much of an ordinary, everyday type being. A commoner, if you will. And I know that just eats him up inside. The stupid novelist.

Think-A-Holic Lounge is a hideout for a all kinds of outcasts in the publishing underworld. This is a place for hacks and Michael knows that. If Michael was a civilian on Earth and I was a cop and I told him that this is a bar for cops he'd understand. But writers don't understand hacks, the author wannabes who never get a break. Hacks like us are simply part of the symbiosis of the universe. Without hacks, the people who can actually write wouldn't stand out among their peers. Not one little bit.

In other words, Mr. Michael Casher, I, Jonco Bugos, your back-ass-wards alter ego, made you what you are.

So, how, then, and certainly why, did I find one of Michael Casher's custom cufflinks (see pic) on the floor under the bar stool next to me just after last call last night? Angus said his lips were sealed and the regular Lounge lizards, my fickle pals in the mysterious publishing underworld, are also silent on the topic of Michael Casher. As far as I'm concerned, that breaks the unwritten clubhouse rules for Think-A-Holic Lounge. And the unspoken code of the hack.

You want your stupid cuff link back, Michael Casher?

Come and get it.