The Barstool Journal of Jonco Bugos

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Author Whisperer

It had been a long time since I'd seen that multilingual shape shifter in the alley near Think-A-Holic Lounge. This was the sleeping bum I tried to give a ride home one day (see the Stalking the Wild Think-A-Holic posting, then the Froggy Night posting, then the Lost in Translation posting) before I realized that he probably didn't have a home, before I realized that he was more than likely a figment of my think-a-hol-fueled imagination and way before I finally came to the shocking conclusion that this hobo was, himself, some sort of cosmic warning for me, in regard to one possible future. A future I just might have if no one took me and my novella seriously. The very sight of him made me feel less like an an alter ego and more like the real McCoy, I don't care what anybody says.

I snapped this picture of the mystery man last night with my cell phone camera after I'd stumbled down the front steps of Think-A-Holic Lounge around dusk, full of think-a-hol and bubbly chasers and happy thoughts. It was my own stupid fault and dumb luck that I'd chosen to take the alleyway home instead of the front sidewalk. I figured I'd save half a block that way and be able to catch the last few minutes of the latest news on cable TV about Wall Street, not realizing that this is how low I'd sunk.

When I first spotted him, he just stood there and watched me pass, waiting for me to speak to him so he could reply in another language, making some cryptic remark that would make me doubt my very existence. But I wasn't going to play his game anymore. I just shuffled along through the leaves and the puddles that were scattered about after the last unpredicted shower, making haste for my comfy couch back home. As I passed by him he spoke.

"Good things come to those who wait," whispered the mystical man.

But I didn't answer him. I didn't even turn around. I ran and ran and never looked back. And when I got home I made a cup of tea with honey in it and sipped it while listening to old vinyl recordings of Simon & Garfunkel until it was dark. And then I went to bed and, for the first time in my entire life, I did not dream.