The Trouble With Crocuses

Just this afternoon some swaggering intergalactic meat merchant from a local star system drank his fill of think-a-hol and then pleaded poverty when presented with his bloated bar tab. Faced with physical violence from the management, he pulled these strange life forms out of his big coat pockets. As expected, Angus McCloud (our bigass head bartender) accepted them as full payment, soft touch that he is.

Then the old ghost bartender quickly planted them outside and these purple and yellow things took a real liking to their new soil immediately. Angus thinks they're cute as hell. But I'm thinking trouble is ahead.

Crocuses, my butt. Next they'll be chortling and making more of themselves. Rumor has it that their favorite food is think-a-holics.

Not An Exit

One patron at Think-A-Holic Lounge was recently banned for life by Angus McCloud, the big-ass head bartender. This guy is a human male from the planet Alpha Male One, where all humans are "energy creatures" and where all men over thirty are called "Leader". His real name is unpronounceable and we at the Lounge call him Not An Exit behind his back because he, like all men from Alpha Male One, can walk through walls at will and this guy has never used a door at the Lounge to my knowledge.

Not An Exit was banned for running up a big bar tab and then sneaking out when the bartender's back was turned. Here is a picture I snapped of him with my tried-and-true, handy-dandy cell phone camera as he was skedaddling through the men's room wall. I didn't manage to get the piece of toilet paper attached to his left boot.

How Angus actually plans to keep Not An Exit out of Think-A-Holic Lounge is still a mystery to us all.