The Barstool Journal of Jonco Bugos
Showing posts with label star. Show all posts
Showing posts with label star. Show all posts

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Star Maker

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IsraelThe Lounge closed early for the Thanksgiving holiday, shutting its doors at midnight last night. Even though Think-A-Holic Lounge has no actual position in the physical universe and cannot be pin-pointed in the space-time continuum, it respects all known holidays in this solar system.

A large crowd had gathered around this particular customer (see pic) who had just blown in from the planet Saturn, which everyone knows is still the jewel of the solar system as well as a hotbed of publishing gossip and where most shakers still do their shaking. He was buying drinks for just about everyone and I mentioned to Angus, our big-ass bartender, that this was the real reason for this goofball's popularity.

"Wrong," Angus replied, looking a little starry-eyed himself.

"Oh?" I said, arching my eyebrows in the process. This was the big Scot's cue to embellish his theory out loud.

"Yessir, lad," Angus said, "when this jasper blew in from Saturn the scuttlebutt around here was that he was a writer who'd recently been published by a traditional publishing house on Earth."

"I see," I told him, totally unimpressed. I knew that only meant that this joker from Saturn either had an inside connection to the Great Publishing Wizards in Big Apple City or else he had penned his book after doing considerable market research and had written only what the market would bear, not what he had a mind to write.

"And that makes him just about as close to being a big star around here as you can get ," Angus added. "Hell, all the rest of us are either unpublished or self-published. POD people, you know, most of us." His starry-eyed gaze dimmed slightly as he remembered the real reason he was here at the Lounge. "Pour you another one?"

"No thanks," I said, tossing a couple singles on the bar. "I think I've had enough think-a-hol for one night."

Then I went outside where the air was decidedly cleaner and my mind clearer and began the long trek back home.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Starlight Becomes Her

People will tell you all kinds of things under the influence of heavy thinking and most of what they say is true. Think-a-hol is an even better uninhibitor than alcohol and it has better and longer lasting side effects than booze. But the two a.m. babbling of the star monster I ran into the other night (as we both sat nursing drinks that the ice had long since melted in) was just a lot of tongue wagging, in my opinion.

She said she wasn't from any star, she said she was made of stars and when you looked at her in the dim light, stars were all you could really see. When I asked her what she did for a living, she said she spent most of her time staying just out of reach. I asked her what she meant by that but she kept moving to the next stool each time I asked her a question.

Rather than shout my questions at her, I decided to just let her go for the time being and finally she just disappeared altogether, although I didn't hear the Lounge door open and close. I finally asked Angus, the ghost bartender, what the deal was with her and he said in a low voice, "One day last year a POD author actually reached out and touched her. And she hasn't been the same since."