Bear Bob

Think-A-Holic Lounge is an intergalactic watering hole for writing and publishing misfits from throughout the space-time continuum and, even though it takes up no space in the physical universe, it's still a natural place for fights on the weekends just like any other dive bar on planet Earth.

And that's because a lot of people who frequent the Lounge on the weekends are disembodied spirits and astral selves and dreamworld figments from Earth and nobody picks fights like Earthlings with issues. And Earthlings always have issues. It's almost as if they were born for the purpose of working out every type of personal and social issue that can possibly confront a biped creature.

Summertime bar brawling requires special tavern security (see pic). Just after the big Fourth of July blowout brawl that lasted elebenty-leben minutes and destroyed almost half of the Lounge's tables and chairs, Angus McCloud, the Lounge's bigass head bartender, hired a special bouncer who was formerly from from Pennsylvania's Allegheny Plateau Region on Earth.

Angus calls him Bear Bob. This formidable-looking creature is a hybrid biped who was created in a lab by the Grays in the early 1960s. Bear Bob is half Pennsylvania redneck and half Pennsylvania Black Bear, which gives him the appearance of a Minnesota Brown Bear in an Ozark Mountain costume. Go figure.

There have been absolutely no fights whatsover at Think-A-Holic Lounge since Bear Bob was installed at the front door. And that's because no one has been brave enough to approach this hostile-looking bruin bouncer, let alone pass his scrutiny.

It won't last, though. When Angus McCloud's tip money starts to dry up and he can no longer afford his chauffeur-driven limo, Bear Bob will be history and things will be back to normal around here. I can't wait. I haven't had a taste of think-a-hol, myself, since Independence Day.