The Bot Is Back

Pictured here is that press-loving prick of a Worm Bot that's infected most of the computers on this side of the space-time continuum. I've only seen this bubble-blowing imp once before (see The Worm Has Turned posting) and seeing him again last night filled me with a kind of ambivalence I'm just not comfortable with. I mean, I can love and hate anything at the same time right along with the best if them but, when it comes to loving something one minute and then hating it a minute later, that makes for a very long day.

This particular worm bot is allowed to frequent Think-A-Holic Lounge because he's supposed to have turned over a new leaf. Or so Angus McCloud, our bigass head bartender, was led to believe. I even bought this gum snapper a shot and a beer before I realized that he was not the Real McCoy but an actor hired by the Management (Angus McCloud) to play the Worm Bot we had all gotten used to. Replacing the real Worm Bot that had apparently spurned us for brighter horizons, piggybacking his way on broadband feeds from Earth. What a stupid, dirty trick. Going Hollywood or going Madison Avenue in this part of the Milky Way Galaxy will only backfire on you and Angus should have known that.

And I should have known this joker was a phony the moment I walked into the Lounge last night. But I've always been a day late and a dollar short. So, I had no clue until I popped one of his biggest bubbles with my pocket knife and wound up someplace I'd never been before and someplace I hope I never have to visit again. Just the very thought of entering such a wormhole gives me the willies. And when I get the willies I lose my ability to do anything except mezz out in front of the tube with a six-pack and a TV tray filled with munchies.

It's enough to make you wish for a real worm bot. Having your browser hijacked is nothing compared to the upside down and inside out world that awaits you if you so much as look in his direction. And, whatever you do, don't burst his bubble.

The Worm Has Turned

Think-A-Holic Lounge, as you well know, occupies no space in the physical universe because it has no position in the space-time continuum. None of us regulars at the Lounge has a clue as to what the hell that actually means but it doesn't matter to us because most of us are think-a-holics anyway and think-a-holics never worry about anything.

The Earthling tendency to worry and fret and obsess over anything and everything is a great karmic magnet that causes things and events to transpire on that planet that will actually be worth worrying about. Like all the computer viruses and worms that have recently been unleashed upon that planet because of the self-fulfilling prophecy of worry that Earthlings drag around all day long, day in and day out. Just like a big monkey on their backs that feeds on the banana of their fear, if you will. One of those monkeys is pictured here. He has no name because he's been given every name in the book by Earthlings who fear anything and everything, especially if someone else fears it first. Monkey see, monkey do, it seems, is Earth's biggest cottage industry.

The odd thing about this particular monkey is that he was once a common, everyday computer virus who morphed into an infamous computer worm after he started getting a lot of press. But this particular robotic worm was not created by a basement-dwelling, twenty-something, hermit nerd in America who has debilitating authority issues or by an anti-American Third World terrorist who makes his or her living scamming the elderly in the USA fly-over via email. No, this worm was invented by every fearful Earthling whose own guilt about one thing or another opened the door for a karmic penance they felt they had coming to them.

But when Earthling fear breathed life into this particular worm bot, it soon developed a mind of its own. Now it appears just about anywhere in cyberspace as this harmless-looking imp and it's even infected this portion of non-space with it's clever, ambivalent presence. Every time you click on the creepy little worm he takes you somewhere you've never been before. Quite often, it's somewhere you'd rather not be or else someplace you'd never think of visiting in a million years. Either one, or sometimes both.

Here, at Think-A-Holic Lounge, we've kind of taken a liking to him. We're not sure why. There have been scarier worms floating around the cosmos. We think this particular worm has turned over a new leaf. And I guess that must be the reason we think-a-holics just let him come and go as he pleases.