Think-A-Holic Lounge

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Think-A-Holic Art

This past Friday, the Wonderful Wizard of Windows Movie Maker — the me on your side of the looking glass — informed me that he had a new hobby. Painting with a mouse. After I picked myself up off the floor where I'd fallen in a sudden, uncontrollable fit of hysterical laughter, I offered to buy the artist a drink. But he declined.

He cited various reasons for not drinking while I yawned and looked at my wristwatch and then he asked me to post his second painting on my blog. Without even thinking, I said, "No." Then he pulled a fiver out of his micro-thin wallet and I fell for the old greased-palm bit hook, line and sinker. Well, I drank up that fiver in about a half hour but I feel better about myself somehow. For some embarrassingly unexplainable reason that I'd rather not go into. If you get my drift. 

Put On Your Thinking Cap

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Think-A-Hol

What is a Think-A-Holic?

Welcome To Our Cosmic Watering Hole

Thinking Cap

Not everyone who visits Think-A-Holic Lounge is a think-a-holic. Imbibing think-a-hol is not for everyone and doing so has always been an option here at the Lounge and it always will be. While a regular patron may offer to buy you a round of the ol' elixir, no one will ever ask you to try a dram or a shot of it against your will. Instead, Angus McCloud, the Lounge's big-ass head bartender (and the ghost of a dead Scottish poet) makes available, free of charge, the use of a thinking cap (see pic).

This is The Official Think-A-Holic Lounge Thinking Cap, patented on Pluto and sold exclusively to watering holes throughout the Milky Way Galaxy that cater to people who like to think. It's not made of any special material and you can't take it with you when you leave. But while you wear it, it makes you tackle your biggest problems and deal with your worst fears, which are more often than not figments of your own imagination.

Often times, donning our official think cap will make you confront your worst enemy, as well, who is almost invariably yourself. And, when you least expect it, The Official Think-A-Holic Lounge Thinking Cap will present you with new ideas about life and people and places that you'd never think about in a million years when you boldly go bareheaded about your own business as if it were the only game in town.

One size fits all.

Stalking the Wild Think-A-Holic

After finding a sleeping old man in the alley outside of Think-A-Holic Lounge one night a couple months ago (for some background, see the Lost in Translation posting) and then finding a frog in his place a few nights after that (see the Froggy Night posting), I finally came to the conclusion that I'm being followed. Yessir, that's it. I'm being stalked by a shape-shifter or something from another world or maybe another realm.

Further proving this theory, I stumbled onto the old bum again last night (see pic), that same, weird, old codger who sleeps sitting up and with his eyes wide open. Last night, it was exactly the stroke of midnight, Betelgeuse Time, when I happened onto the aging oddball, after stumbling down the front steps. And there he was, loitering on the same bench, but under the bright streetlight this time. I was high on think-a-hol, of course.

When I spotted the crazy old coot, I didn't even hesitate to take a snapshot of him with my trusty cell-phone camera or to approach him this time or to engage him in polite conversation. I figured if he was a real shape-shifter he wouldn't be able to stand the kindness. Also, I thought I'd try speaking to him in Spanish this time, just to throw the old curmudgeon off balance. Just to see if he'd try to run another language game on me.

"Oye," I said to him as he sat there pretending to ignore me, "que pasa?"

"Sorry, buddy," the weird old jasper said in a tired, jaded voice, "I don't speak Italian."

It's Spanish, Pops, I thought to myself, not Italian. Then the old guy's image began to waver and fade. I thought about running but I held my ground, totally transfixed on the otherworldly scene before me. Then high-pitched laughter could be heard coming from his fading form just before he vanished altogether.

Naturally, I went back inside the Lounge for another shot of think-a-hol and a bubby chaser which I nursed quietly in a corner booth until last call.

Flaming Thoughts

Angus, the big-ass head bartender at the Lounge, is also the ghost of a dead Scottish poet, as I've said before. And he just got back from his one-week Halloween vacation last night and read me his latest poem.

It's about the Loch Ness Monster and it's not for publication and I listened carefully as he recited it, even though it wasn't very good, in my opinion. Then I told him about my latest book and then we bought each other flaming shots of think-a-hol.

They looked like this.

Think-A-Hol

Think-A-Holics, like me, mostly drink think-a-hol at the Lounge but other beverages are also served there. Still, nothing provides inspiration for writing like good ol' think-a-hol, especially when it's served neat and with no chaser.

In small amounts, think-a-hol (see pic) can enlighten even the darkest and unusable mind and in larger quantities it can even produce revelations, but only in minds that are already ripe for them.

There are many types of think-a-hol and not all of them go down easily. Some burn the tongue and then settle like warm heat once downed. Other kinds are smooth and even buttery but, afterward, sour the stomach and burn the heart.

Not all think-a-hol costs the same. Some of the cheapest stuff will bring out the best in a person while, more often than not, the most expensive blends will show the worst and darkest side of those who drink it.

But, once you become a think-a-holic, there's absolutely no turning back.

What is a Think-A-Holic?

A think-a-holic is someone that other people accuse of thinking about things too much.

A true think-a-holic is a also a doer, a man or woman of action, not just a dilettante who mezzes out in front of the tube during commercials or who goes to the library to meet people instead of actually reading books and periodicals.

A think-a-holic suspects that there is a better way to do a lot of things but isn't fooled by flash-in-the pan fads that try to displace the conventional and the traditional with superficiality.

A think-a-holic actually knows what the word superficiality means.

A think-a-holic would never confuse another think-a-holic with someone who simply has an obsession with thinking and not doing anything. Those who obsess don't read books. They just obsess.

Too radical for you? Then you're probably not a think-a-holic.

Go out and celebrate.